This is a list of what I miss from home:

- ATMs that are open all the time, and don`t close at 8pm and on holidays;

- North American pizza - not the monstrosities they make here, with wasabi, raw tuna, and fried eggs on top;

- jaywalking;

- English TV, for that matter;

- English news...it`s tiring having to guess your way through the headlines of the day;

- zoning laws;

- Taco Bell - I`ve been dreaming about Mexican food for weeks now...

- being able to walk down the street without having Japanese women check you out for being a foreigner...actually, that`s not so bad...

- televised sports that do not include sumo wrestling or baseball;

- ambulances that travel faster than the speed-limit;

- being able to walk into a fast-food joint and order a hamburger without psyching myself for a round of charades;

- the loonie and the twoonie...the Japanese don`t have cute pet names for their currency

Been a while since I posted anything, so here`s a quick note on last week`s mini vacation.

I went on a business trip to a place called Kanazawa, which is on the other side of Japan - `width`-wise, you could say, so it`s on the China-side, a 4-hour shinkansen-and-train ride away. I taught for two days, and stayed an extra day to do some sightseeing.

The Kenrokken garden is supposed to be the biggest and most beautiful garden in Japan...but honestly, I wasn`t too impressed. Oh, it was nice and everything, but I wasn`t blown away. It was like taking a nice walk in Stanley Park. Then I toured a Samurai house, a Geisha house, and a Ninja temple.

That night, I dined on unagi (grilled eel) and spent several hours in  Japanese bath. Very relaxing, though too hot and filled with naked businessmen.

Last night I was up fairly late watching TV. One of the Hockey World Cup games was aired the night before, from 2am-4am, and I stayed up and proceeded to sleep until noon; hence I was quite wide awake indeed at midnight when...guesses, anyone?...yet another bloody earthquake hit! Now it`s just getting annoying.

Anyway, I didn`t feel like sleeping after all the warnings and alarms were sounded, so I flicked through the channels, and it occurred to me that I have never really provided any documentation of a typical cross-section of Japanese television. Below are some examples of the TV shows that I managed to catch last night:

- some kind of a talkshow/gameshow wh ich culminated in a long table topped with various types of fish and seafood dishes being lowered into the cage of a large black bear, with well-known celebrities betting on the dish that the bear will eat first;

- a gameshow in which a scary-looking guy in a clown suit lights a candle and proceeds to pour the hot, melted wax onto the bare chest of a contestant below - his winnings are based on how much hot wax he can handle being slowly dripped onto his body from an increasing height;

- a talkshow that ends each interview segment with the interviewee putting on a suit of fuzzy fabric, running down a long plank, jumping off a diving board, and trying to stick to a wall covered in velcro;

- a show in which, from what I could discern, female fashion models get grouped together to form pick-up games of various sports that none of them are good at, or even played before; I managed to sit through an insufferable round of bowling and two horrendous innings of baseball before changing the channel;

And, my very favourite:

- an odd gameshow in which a contestant selected from the audience drops one of his credit cards into an aquarium filled with piranhas - if one of the piranhas tries to eat the card, he wins. What he wins, I know not; does he get his credit card back? Maybe he gets to keep the piranha? I don`t know.

And you know, at that moment, around 1am last night, I believe I reached my tolerance for nonsensical television. I really can`t take it anymore. At this point, I think looking for pictures in the static of out-of-frequency channels would prove more entertaining.

Two earthquakes last night - first one just after 7pm our time, a 6.9 off the Wakayama coast south of where I am located; then another one just before midnight, this one about a 7.3, similar area, I think. I felt both of them - not a lot of shaking, just vibrating windows. Then there was a tsunami-warning broadcast over the TV and radio; there was only about a half-meter rise where I am on the coast, but nearer the epicenter it rose to about a full meter.

What was kinda freaky is hearing the public address go off. I can`t understand it, but I can pick out a few words, like `jichin` (earthquake) and `tsunami`. It`s disturbing when you have no idea what is being said: it could have been saying, `Run! Run away! There is a huge earthquake going to hit followed by one mother of a tsunami! We`re all going to die! Ahhhhhh!` And I`d be sitting there smiling away, listening to Creedence on my CD player, no idea whatsoever. Ah, well - at least I wouldn`t know what hit me.